Silent Sojourn

thoughts twinkle in this twilight of travels

neurons send and receive like wind in tree

all tension and concern gently unravels

only sweet acceptance is now in me

Why did I go, where I went, what was there?

All the questions that are bound to assail

I can merely smile, for I do not care

to take my experience to a verbal jail

The feelings are too fresh and unique

I refrain to explain what I cannot

silently it lays peacefully oblique

for in the telling I will have forgot

Downward Spiral

I can only say this about this world, it gives you something to think on. It took me a while to realize the bottomless depth of this world and that it is clearly beyond all comprehension. I admire it for this trait, it makes me feel that I can truly enjoy the impossibility of it all without having to feel too guilty about not taking it all that seriously. And how can you take it seriously? We live in a place that makes of contradictions and irony the very basis of our existence. Even my half-assed attempt at unlocking the riddles of reality has damn near driven me mad on several occasions, so those who really dig to the deeps must surely suffocate from lack of sanity.

Still, I have nothing else to do, so I give it a whirl and transcribe my thoughts in the hope that one day this brain that I have thrown down the infinite pit will strike the fabled bottom and I will hear the echo of its crash, smiling with satisfaction and wisdom. For now however, I just look at this place and think, 'what a bunch of silly, stupid shit'. The 1% making their billions off the demanding desire of the demented. The people who think they can sit in a park day after day in a city built by Capitalism, having been suckled at its teat their entire lives, and call it dissent. People fighting for freedom from dictatorship in Syria and Egypt hopelessly stranded in a geopolitical scene that sees no benefit in helping them and a tradition of violence that condemns them to brutal repression. All the while the business of providing goods to the world pillages and plunders a wounded planet to fill the countless freighters and trucks so this system of materialism can deliver the goods for just one more day.

I don't pretend that there has ever been a reason for anything humanity has done, but these days it's hard to see the purpose of holding out hope that we will ever figure out a way to change ourselves. This fantastical flurry of ferociousness doing all it can to render unto the multitude that is squirming and screaming for more is all we can expect. No sign of restraint nor hope for repentance. It's all too brutal to believe, but too clear to deny. Still I feel immense sorrow for every struggling soul out there trying to cope with things by challenging authority. The real goal should be to challenge ourselves to live in a manner that doesn't require us to depend upon anything or anyone but ourselves. In my mind, the most revolutionary act possible in our world is to not need or want anything that we cannot provide for ourselves. If we cannot accomplish this no amount of Occupying or toppling of autocratic governments can fundamentally alter the fact that we are dependent upon empowered others for our existence, and thus by definition not free.

"Don't let it bring you down, its only castles burning. "-Neil Young

"You cannot see the future with tears in your eyes." -Navajo Proverbs

Is anybody home?

"At length corruption, like a general flood

(So long by watchful ministers withstood)

Shall deluge all; and avarice, creeping on,

Spread like a low-born mist, and blot the sun"

-Alexander Pope

Curious is the fact that Capitalism has endured so long and proven so strong. Guess it isn't so shocking when one considers that cannibalism and child sacrifice went on for thousands of years. As a student of History I don't see much point in complaining too much about this system of economics. It just fits too well with the trajectory of our development and seems a natural consequence of centuries of Imperialist wars. Trying to criticize one of the most potent and pervasive movements to hit humans seems to me being in denial of what sort of species we have become.

It isn't that I don't have hope for a better breed of bipeds, I just think it won't come about without acknowledging our flaws. In my mind the biggest of these glitches is an amazing ability to willfully not learn from our mistakes in a timely fashion. I suppose Hegel's comment that "We learn from History that we do not learn from History" is an accurate assessment of mankind. Nato trying to conquer Afghanistan, people still acting surprised at the erratic cycles of Capitalism, tribal wars over power, destroying the environment... all these things are mistakes made many times. Probably the best excuse is that humans are habitual creatures and just because things don't work out well is no reason to change.

There is something rather fantastic about our careless abandon. It bespeaks of a profound apathy for anything beyond the present and not directly related to our individual lives. The level to which we have accepted this system is very telling. People speak more of the end of the world than the end of Capitalism, and surely they can imagine the former more than the latter. When you see a photo of the world at night one can't help but notice that the light has clearly been left on, but is anyone home?

"The slaves of custom and established mode,

With pack-horse constancy we keep the road

Crooked or straight, through quags or thorny dells,

True to the jingling of our leader's bells"

-William Cowper

Confoederatio Helvetica

"For many men, the acquisition of wealth does not end their troubles, it only changes them."

-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

As my weeks in Switzerland turn into months I am beginning to wonder about the nature of wealth and how it affects society. With the rest of the developed world going through its socio-economic menstrual cycle (every 20 years we bleed out our brains) hanging with the Swiss is an interesting place to observe this phenomenon. These people have their whole little fairy tale world running like a well oiled clock and observe a delightful policy of aloof apathy towards the rest of the privileged peoples problems. They seem satisfied with contributing humanitarian aid and profiting from the misery of the rest of planet through banking.

I like the special existence these people enjoy in this unconscionable world of ours. It truly is a species populating a planet too absurd to even analyze sometimes, but I'll make my attempt non the less. Those in the North are bordering on complete panic about the fact that their era of excess is being threatened once again by economics, reality, and the structural insanity of modern consumer capitalism. The proximal populations, such as those in Mexico, North Africa and South West Asia, are suffering from endemic violence and upheaval that results from a world order that has ordained them to forever be subservient to needs of their powerful neighbors to the north. Farther south and east the struggle continues in a fashion as old as the ages; the perennial struggle for enough calories to live one more year and praying that the terrible threesome of war, famine and plague don't once again visit them.

In such a nonsensical narrative the Swiss simply go on putting bells on all their cows, hiking in their mountains, and enjoying the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that somehow bestowed upon them a serendipitous situation. At least they didn't have to colonize, conquer and kill to achieve it, which is something no other society on earth can claim. In a world that is increasingly a dark and devious nightmare who can blame these Swiss for living their gentle dream in their Alpine fortress of solitude.

"Fate is not an eagle, but creeps like a rate." -Elizabeth Bowen

Masochistic Mammals

The purpose of life has gotten lost in the waves of thought that swirl and swarm in our masochistic mammal minds. Luckily Consumer Capitalism conjures a cacophony of cultural calamity that is of such a similar structure that nothing gets lots, the nonsense is without beginning or end and thus flows like the sewage in our innumerable cities. Lately what gets passed off as news has been especially hysterical feces laced vomitus. Let us give a brief lay of the lunacy that has lately entered the annals of hopelessness human idiocy.

My favorite occurrence of late is the ingenious machinations of Ali Abdullah Saleh. This guy is my favorite Muslim Despot currently reigning, and he has not let me down. While other countries just shoot their unarmed people, this man has the balls to actually attack his own Hashid tribe, and break timeless regional traditions by attacking Sheiks who are trying to mediate. He has now pulled out of three different negotiations to step down, and engaged in some fantastic PR stunts such as sending people into the town of Zanjibar to pretend to be Al-Qaeda and then announce to the world that they are going to take over part of the country if he leaves office. Saleh and Qaddafi are the true BAMFs and have no problem instigating civil wars rather than deal with the silliness of civil disobedience. I think it is pretty clear at this point that the current economic structure has no tolerance for anything resembling legitimate social change, and thus in a way they are being practical by instead going the route of traditional tribal/regional warfare over power.

On another note, reports are now surfacing that Qaddafi is using the same multinational corporations that the US Military and Friends utilize to recruit mercenaries. Now war profiteering is the largest component in modern warfare, but this sort of development is fucking bananas. The fact that we helped arm Qaddafi, then claimed it would be immoral to arm the Benghazi based rebels was bad enough, but letting him tap into our mercenary market! Suppose it all comes down to the fact the west will always cherish any situation where brown people perish whilst making us money. It is also taking neoliberal economic policies to their logical extreme.

Meanwhile people in the Imperial hinterland are still bitching and moaning about financial problems. The irony of an IMF chief trying to literally rape an African whilst the IMF figuratively has been rapping Africa for decades is pretty rich. Just as Stalin purportedly once commented, "The death of one man is a tragedy, the death of a million is a statistic' I suppose the rap of one African is a crime, but the rape of millions is just good business. Further proof that the entire monolith of modern economics is just a giant herd of half-sentient cattle that care about nothing save their ability to continuously graze, the value of the Euro dropped as a result of the sexual assault charges being filed.

If it is any consolation to you however, it does seem to be getting a lot more violent in the colonies and so may yet have the chance to and privileged people might soon have to go through life without being able to contentedly chew the cud of Consumer Capistalisms until the edifice comes crashing down upon us all.

"Even if the whole world were to fall to pieces, the unity of the psyche would never be shattered. And the wider and more numerous the fissures on the surface, the more the unity is strengthened in the depths." Carl Jung Civilization in Trasition

What must they think?

One thing that always intrigues me about current affairs is what people think as they act out the dramas that become part of what the media delegates as news. To honestly try and conceive of what these fellow humans might be thinking is something that I ponder on a great deal. This is exactly what I did when I heard of Vittorio Arrigoni's execution in an abandoned building by a group in Gaza.

After spending two years in the Gaza Strip as a peace activist, Arrigoni must have truly believed in his cause. He must have had balls like boulders to stay there during Operation Cast Lead, and for that I think he deserves respect. It's one thing to be an idealist and activist living in a developed country, it's a whole other ball of wax to put yourself on the receiving end of an IDF bombardment in one of the most densely populated and militant places on earth. Although I am extremely skeptical of Westerners ever being able to do anything intrinsically good for anyone, I none the less must respect Vittorio Arrigoni for joining with some desperately vulnerable people and standing his ground.

What sort of thoughts motivated such dedication? Also, what sort of thoughts did he have when he was kidnapped a few days ago by a group who he could have no doubt intended to execute him? I'm not sure why, but I have a feeling he didn't break, beg or try to bargain with Jahafil Al-Tawhid Wal-Jihad fi Filastin. He surely had learned what sort of forces that were at work in this complicated situation and must have been as aware of the danger that came from the Palestinian side as he was of the danger from the Israeli one. I suspect in those hours before he was hung he must have had a view of the world that if it could have possibly been shared with the rest of humanity, would have given the world pause. The brutality and insanity of this world must have weighed heavy on this man as he sat handcuffed, blindfolded, surrounded by men consumed with rage and revenge, awaiting his reward for thinking he could do something meaningful in a world that is so painfully meaningless. Just considering what those final thoughts of his were I feel is the only fitting tribute that can be paid to a person who willing put his life on the line because he believed that by doing so he might save someone else. Such people think long and deep about the world and then act accordingly, and so if we are going to think at all of them when they die, it should be to take a long hard stare at this world we participate in.

Maybe the depth and intensity of the suffering that is the occupied territories, and all the people caught up in it, will yet teach us something lasting and meaningful, just as the holocaust once did. With so much violence in the world consuming places like Afghanistan, Libya, Mexico, Cote d'Ivore, and so many more, it is hard to imagine that there is any way to stop the bloodletting. If only we could understand for a minute what it was like to be alive in such places maybe then we could see the world as Vittorio Arrigoni must have in his final minutes. Maybe then we would realize the urgency of fixing what is wrong with our minds and its byproduct, the modern world, so that such things can no longer happen with such mundane regularity.

"Cool it, brothers..." -Malcom X's last words before being assassinated

*photo curtsy of the late Vittorio Arrigoni

Observations from my Itinerations

It has been an entertaining journey thus far. Western Europe is a concept that I've studied in some detail, and so naturally discovering it first hand has been both amusing and informative. First of all, Europeans are delightful humans that seem to relish their identities in a way that seems marvelous to me. They drink deeply from the cup of their existence, even if they do so at the expense of the rest of the world.

England- These folks surely know how to compose themselves into a country. Maybe its the island factor, maybe its the history, but they are certainly a unique bunch. It is true that the food is awful and the people are largely unattractive, but what they lose in these departments they fully make up for in humor. The concept of taking the piss out of someone is a cultural construction that I for one absolutely adore. That one can criticize someone or something in a casual yet direct manner is surely a wonderful attribute for a nation to have; especially one that so thoroughly needs it. I also admire their ability to bow their heads and take all manner of governmental interference in stride while working away their days and drinking away their nights. The best thing I noticed about the English is that they produced the Welsh, Scottish and Irish by virtue of their Imperial endeavors to consume them. For this they should be thoroughly complimented.

Spain- Any country that parties till dawn and shuts down in the afternoons to take a siesta is alright with me. The funniest thing about their civil government is how incredibly cool Spanish police are about things that you would get arrested or fined back in America. There is a joke among foreigners living there that asks, 'who is running this country, for is surely can't be the Spanish?'. This is a valid question because they are a remarkably lazy people unless having a good time. The popularity of the dread-lock mullet with counter culture Spaniards was something that never stopped making me laugh, just as their scandalous and sexy women never ceased making me stare. My most hilarious memory was of passing by an ancient church to look in on a religious ceremony in which a guy wearing very fashionable European clothing swung a chalice of burning incense amidst the crowd, which included women with high heels and short skirts. It all makes sense when one realizes that up until a generation ago, Spain was an incredibly conservative country with a Fascist government. Now it has swung equally far in the opposite direction. This would explain the hordes of youth to be found anywhere in Spain smoking weed, drinking and having clothed sex publicly with not even the slightest attempt to conceal their behavior.

France- I have spent the most time in France, but it has almost entirely been in Paris. I have been told rural France is far different, and will be investigating this shortly. The French are perhaps the most unusual people I've ever spent time with. It is hard to even write about a subject matter so unique. One thing I can say for sure is that if nothing else, they know good food and wine. In this respect France has been very giving to me, and I for my part have been greedy and needy. To be French is to be something that can surely never be explained accurately, and since such is not my goal, I will not hesitate to generalize. When on the Metro you realize how incredibly oblivious people are of each other. They have about as much concern for the person next to them as they do for the dog shit they constantly have to avoid because no one in France thinks it worthwhile to pick it up. I have to love them for their complete apathy towards things that don't matter. It is admirable how they can build a transportation system like the Metro and not care enough to even enforce people paying for it, which I reckon about 1/3 don't. The funniest thing is how much they love to talk to their friends but avoid everyone else. I do love them for their aesthetics though, which almost always is of the highest order. A good taste in art is a viable substitute for individual kindness.

The Language Barrier

Language is the basis for our existence. We fundamentally owe it everything, and yet it doesn't get much consideration. This is likely because it is so basic that we take it for granted; using it how we see fit and never having to think too much of it.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge once said "Language is the armory of the human mind, and at once contains the trophies of its past and the weapons of its future conquests."

What I've learned from the past 3 months in lands where English is not the dominate language is that the so called language barrier is a far greater phenomenon than simple linguistics. A barricade of the brain seems to make meaningful dialogue in any language difficult these days, ergo the differences of actual tongues is not so important to me.

A sort of semantic sterility is obvious is English, with its political language having become almost entirely hollow and many of its common expressions being equally meaningless. My experiences with French and Spanish of late have taught me that they have the same problem, even if it less pronounced. They too struggle in the modern social system that turns all things into commodities and all lives into statistics. It almost seems more tragic with them on account of the fact that they are far more organized and aware of the problem, and yet still can't break through to something different.

We are free to say whatever we please, but have yet to find a combination of words that can motivate us out of the postindustrial funk that is killing the environment and making exploitation and its companion, injustice, ever more prevalent. Meanwhile other parts of Humanity, most notably recently, the Arab world, is finding its voice and roaring for the ages. Such things give me hope and make me think that maybe we yet have time to find our way in the darkness.

"There is no mode of action, no form of emotion, that we do not share with the lower animals. It is only by language that we rise above them, or above each other--- by language, which is the parent, and not the child, of thought." -Oscar Wilde